Tuesday, April 24, 2012

A Day in the Life...

Here's how my day went.  Some of this is typical; some is not:

Wake up with the baby at 2:30, 3:30, and 4:30.  I think she's teething.  MONSTER TEETHING.
6:00 AM alarm goes off.  Slap the snooze two times.  Finally up at 6:11. Send mom a happy birthday text.
Shower, make-up, hair, get dressed, and don't eat breakfast.  I make sure to peek at the three kids and the hubby, all still snoozing (I'm slightly jealous). Out the door by 6:55.
Realize I better get gas as the car is chiming at me.  I stop and get gas at 7:05, grab a coffee, and hit the road.
I arrive at school at 7:40 AM.  Say "Hello" to the office ladies, check-in, and head upstairs.  I search for my keys in my enormous purse as I talk to our Principal Intern in the hallway--we discuss my possible interest in an art position next year.
Finally the keys are located, I'm unlocking doors, switching on the computer and taking a look around to make sure my floor is clean (a whole other ball of wax).
I create new math worksheets as my mind has changed on what we need to cover in our math mini-lesson today after what I saw yesterday.  I sign 36 Science Fair certificates, put entry tasks on student desks, and make sure I have all my other materials.
8:10 staff meeting: We discuss evacuation procedures in case "that thing" ever happens.  Yuck.  We discuss the MSP--I start my testing this Thursday.
8:30 I head back to my room and start grading papers from the day before.  I'm so happy they are really getting our measurement unit.
8:55 I'm back out the door and greeting my students.  I remind them to line-up correctly and to kindly enter the building.  Where is half my class this morning?  We get inside, students get moving to their entry tasks (except for the few that I have to remind), we go through morning announcements, and then go over the entry task.  The rest of my students have trickled in.  Students turn them in and we do "thumbs"--this is our mental check of if we had a good night or not to help me know if I need to address any issues that keep them from learning.
9:20 We begin our math lesson--we discuss metric linear measurement.  They get it right away so we can take off and get going on the independent work.  I sit with my struggling students and help them make sense of it all.
10:00 We go over the work we did, turn it in, and get ready for writing.
10:15 We touch base on how things went with writing yesterday and students commit to finishing their stories.  I circulate and help all 24 students that are present, pep talk at least three that are REALLY struggling (sitting with them, encouraging them, rooting for them), and remind one little fella (no less than 20 times) that, yes, he must stay in his seat and not talk, and not talk, and not talk,...
11:25 I tell my students how amazing they are to get their writing done and do it beautifully, and walk them out to recess.
11:30 Breathe.  I scarf down my lunch, call my husband to say hi, and check emails.
11:45 I go to make copies for tomorrow's work, talk to my teaching partner, and barely have time to make a restroom stop.
12:00 I pick up my class from the lunch room and get them upstairs.  They do spelling while I try to find that video on erosion/weathering--where did it go on my computer?
12:15 I take students down to the computer lab--we go over the MSP tutorial for the 4th time, double check that we understand how to complete the work on the computer, and practice typing and math skills.  I make a new seating chart for our MSP testing.
1:10 We're back upstairs.  One student reads a picture book to our class to try and earn her "Brown Belt" for reading (Reading Karate).  She does such a great job--about makes me cry.  We discuss racism and segregation (as this is what the story book discusses a bit).  We decide it just wasn't fair and we'd all fight against it it we lived during that time period. Mr. Principal pops in to say hi.
1:25 We review a few reading concepts in order to make sure we're ready for the MSP on Thursday--we talk about predicting and inferring, fact and opinion, and author's purpose.  Man, these kids know what they're talking about!
1:45 Students read independently.  I check in with some on what they need to work on, we pass out Reading Karate belts and beads, and I meet with some to talk about summary writing.
2:15 We clean up, discuss what we need to remember for tomorrow, and head to PE.
2:30 Breathe.  Grade more papers, make more copies, go meet the kids at 2:55 to walk them outside.
3:00 Say goodbye to my class, hand out their papers, and talk to our special education teacher about accommodations for my special needs students for the MSP.  You getting a theme here? MSP!
3:20 More grading papers.  That pile never ends!  I also get the opportunity to look over the notes I had parents write to their kids to encourage them on the MSP.  Several of the notes bring tears to my eyes.
3:40 Time to head out as I need to run errands and get home.  I stop at the craft store to get brown cardstock and photo corners.  Then it's time for the long trek home.
4:40 I arrive home.  The baby is crying again and the boys are being nuts.  Nana looks ready to go today (at least yesterday was better).  I get the kids calm and boot them out in the backyard to play.  Time to start making dinner!  Something easy is in everyone's near future...
5:00 I talk to my fabulous neighbor over the fence about her amazing daughters who have both had cancer (Gee my life is easy compared to that any day!  She's an amazing mom).  I let her vent and encourage her because I love her!
5:30 (I think?) We sit down to eat.  Everyone is happy.  Then, bath for the baby and the boys take showers (a new thing at our house!).  We get jammies on early and begin to build robots downstairs with blocks.
7:00 Time to tuck in the baby--she's screaming and angry.  At 19 months, I was hoping this would be easier.  I finally just have to let her cry it out a bit.  Don't tell Nana.
7:15 Call my mom (FINALLY!) and say happy birthday.  She retires this year and I'm so excited to see her more.  The boys play some more and watch a cartoon.  I do the dishes.
8:15 My sister arrives to stay the night since her commute is long.  She's not feeling well.  I get the boys ready for bed and we read a story on the top bunk.  Then I'm pleaded with to sing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight."  Of course, I do it--for those knuckleheads!
8:45 I look over a frame I need to prep for pictures for one of the hubby's co-workers.  It's time to pick colors for mats!  But, oops, the hubby needs to add hardware to it before I can finish it up.
9:00 Texting to my BFF and my hubby...I begin composing this post about my day.
9:20 Take the dog out, turn the TV off, say goodnight to my sister, and head upstairs to my bedroom.  I begin to write.  It's been three weeks because I had the most horrible respiratory infection.  I'm finally feeling better.  The writing feels like a stranger, but I'm pleased to see that chapter 17 actually started out good.  I get 1,050 words down in one hour.  I feel exhausted and tomorrow is my long day.
10:30  I reluctantly start shutting down the computer (after finishing this last thought), and will soon go wash my face, brush my teeth, send the hubby a text, and slip into bed.  It's been a good--if not busy--day.  It always feels like it doesn't slow down until this very last moment.  I often have to remind myself to take some good deep breaths.  Hopefully tomorrow I will get to write more (in the novel--not here!).  Sweet dreams...

Monday, April 16, 2012

Check-In


Currently: Lesson planning.  I've had to put some writing on hold (reluctantly) because it's only 9 weeks until summer.  I about had a heart attack today when it hit me that it's so close to the end of the year and we start our state testing next week.  My heart is in my nose.
Listening: The cat breathing heavy, my heart thudding, my sister (who's staying with us occasionally) watch "The Voice."
Loving: That the weather is getting nicer and the days are getting longer.  I'm also anticipating the end of the school year, although I do really enjoy my kids.
Thinking: About how I want to write so much, but don't have enough time right now.  I barely have time to breath.
Wanting: To take a week to just write and create things.  Soon enough, soon enough...
Needing: To relax a bit and take deep breaths.
OLW (one little word): Breathe.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Get Lit! Festival

Hi there.  Well, I was not a complete social recluse tonight.  I enjoyed the Get Lit! Festival.  No, that's not code for go-out-and-get-shit-faced.  It's a festival put on by EWU to celebrate literature in our community.  I had the opportunity to attend a reading by Colson Whitehead (Zone One) and Jess Walter (Beautiful Ruins).  Both were thoroughly entertaining.  The best part?  Hearing about their process and how it's not so magical all the time...which I knew was true per my own writing experiences, but it's always nice to hear from others for confirmation of this fact.  I'm going to pick up copies of their books ASAP to add to my list (which means I will be downloading them onto my Nook).  Happy reading!

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Losing one's rainbow

This post has been stewing in my head for a bit.  It wasn't until recently that I felt the real importance of getting it down.  Because some things are hard to get out of your mouth and to say in the way that you want others to interpret them.  But what it comes down to is, I've been an ass.

No, I'm not a mean-spirited person.  I haven't intentionally hurt anyone or done anything out of being vindictive.  I just didn't make my time and companionship available to some people I really love.  It's true I'm busy with a full-time job, a husband, 3 kids, and an attempted writing career, but that's no excuse for not being with the one's I love because they are an important part of the balance I need, they need, we need.  So here it is--a public apology to all of those people I love and whom make me happy, inspired, and comfortable in my own skin and for those that accept me for the eccentric person I tend to be at times.

I haven't made the time for those I need to because I've frankly been wrapped up in my own internal drama.  I knew it was happening, but I was feeling a little incapable of solving the issue for the past 6 months.  I'm not one to discuss my deepest, darkest, most inner feelings with anyone.  And I mean anyone--I'll give those I REALLY trust a little glimpse of it, but this monster is truly too frightening to share.  Those feelings rooted deep in the most hollow part of me are not for sharing.  What it comes down to though is that I--deep breathe--have known for years (since I was 19) that I have anxiety issues and depression.  I had major anxiety and depression at 19 and learned to control it.  Recently, it has come back to the forefront of my life and I'm having to learn once again to get it in check.

Now that doesn't mean that I'm this little unhappy female walking around like Eeyore all the time.  Sometimes that's how I feel inside and I can put on a very happy face.  Other times I have such life-paralyzing social anxiety that I can't go out and have fun with those I really want to because physically I feel incapable of it.  My body just wants to shut down and close off from the world.  In fact, I feel very very uncomfortable even typing this, which is causing me to want to freeze up and huck my laptop.

But I think it's important to be honest with myself.  This is who I am.  I'm not crazy.  I'm not a bad person.  I'm not a broken, lacking, less-valued human being because of these things.  In fact, I realize many creative people cope with these issues (and even much much worse than this).  I embrace that these "deficiencies" are a part of me and make me who I am.  If you're going to love me, I know you love me for all that I am because this makes me the wonderful, silly, vivacious person you see.

So, sorry to all of those that I dearly love for being not present in the moment and being a bit of a little black rain cloud.  I'm coming back and my rainbow is getting brighter in the sky once again.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Commitment

I officially purchased a REAL domain name!  I'm so excited.  It feels more like a commitment to myself and my writing than anything else.  I'm elated to bring new and exciting things this year to my blog, and I think this will help with it looking real, and not chintzy.  Thanks to those that follow already...you're awesome.  And to those just coming in, enjoy!

Monday, April 2, 2012

Check-In


Currently: Getting ready to shut down and go off to dream land.  Dealing with laryngitis.
Listening: To Dexter snore his little puggy snore.
Loving: That it's my week off, yet it's just as busy as a week on--however it's a week filled with things I want to do.
Thinking: About how close the carrot is--just a few more chapters and the first draft is complete.  Although, it did go from 20 chapters to 22 (I think). I'm on 17.
Wanting: To have enough time to edit really well before the writing conference in July--I don't think I'll have enough, though.
Needing: To force myself to sleep.
OLW (one little word): Relax.

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Check-In

Currently: Fighting the migraine.  I think I have it at bay now.  Attempting to write before we run a 5K tonight.  Yes, I said tonight.
Listening: To the family watching the new Sponge Bob episode.
Loving: That my creativity is flowing and I get to meet up with lots of cool people this week.
Thinking: About how to solve the complexities of my novel.  Writing a novel is much different than short stories. Also thinking about switching my blog to wordpress (GASP!!!).
Wanting: The book to be perfect.  That's always my biggest fight with myself--things not being perfect--or the the fear of things not being perfect--can be parallelizing.
Needing: To create a machine that gives me more time.  
OLW (one little word): Run